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Balancing Poker and Life
Clonie Gowen
Oct 16, 2006
I am always trying to find the balance between family and poker, and I know a lot of you
struggle with the same issue. For the serious player with a significant other, the poker
lifestyle can be a real challenge. Here's a little advice for making poker work with the rest
of your life. I've included five tidbits of advice for both the player and his or her partner.
Advice for the Poker Player
1. Don't punish your partner over your bad play or bad luck. Let it go when you walk away
from the table. If you can't release that bad energy quickly, then let your partner know that
you need a little while to cool off. Snapping at your partner isn't good for anyone.
2. Don't lie about wins or losses. Remember, you're incredibly lucky if you found someone
who supports your dreams. If the money in play makes your partner nervous, sit down and
discuss a business plan that works for both of you. Talk honestly about the pros and cons
of serious poker. Don't even consider going pro until you can cover all of your bills for at
least six months in advance.
3. If you make plans with your partner, don't play that day. If you get stuck or if a sucker sits
at your table, you aren't going to want to leave, and feelings are going to get hurt. Believe
me.
4. If you're traveling the circuit, be courteous and answer your phone. It's hard enough on a
partner when you're out of town. There's no need to make them wonder who you're with or
what you're doing.
5. Remember, there's life outside of poker. If you can remember a hand you played five
years ago, then it's not too much to ask to remember your partner's birthday.
Advice for the Player's Partner
1. If your future champion walks through the door looking a little grey, don't ask, "Did you
win?" Just back off and give them some space. I promise they just need to analyze what
happened and, maybe, replay a few hands in their mind. The last thing they want to do is
disappoint you by talking about a big loss.
2. Poker players don't change. If you don't try to understand a player's fascination with the
game, your relationship is going to see some very tough times. Andy Bloch, for example,
has an incredibly supportive girlfriend (soon to be wife). She's smart and ambitious. Once
she started dating Andy, she realized that if the relationship was going to work, she'd have
to adapt to his travel schedule. You know what she did? She started a website called
PokerWire. For a time, she traveled everywhere with Andy, reported on chip counts, and
interviewed players. Now, Jennifer is back in school and Andy has moved to be with her,
supporting her choice.
3. Don't be quick to assume the worst. If your poker pro doesn't come home until 5AM, you
can bet that they were stuck in some game or that a favorite fish walked in the door right as
they were about to leave. Most poker players are honorable people. They might bluff an
opponent, but they don't bluff in life. We are weird that way. So, unless they give you a
reason to think they were up to no good, give them the benefit of a doubt.
4. A player can't choose the day or time that a sucker will be at the table. Sometimes, they'll
need to play on Thanksgiving or Christmas - or even on your birthday. If we get a phone
call that "Ramin' Jamin' John" is in town, there's nothing that's gonna stop us... except a
car wreck because we were speeding to get to the game.
5. If you want to learn how to play the game, your partner may not be the best teacher. They
will have less patience with you than anyone else. Get some books on poker, and start
with them. It's hard to teach someone that has never played, and it's going to get
frustrating for both of you. Play online at the lower limits to practice what you've learned.
I hope y'all enjoyed this one and, remember, bad beats make for lousy pillow talk.
Balancing Poker and Life Clonie Gowen Oct 16, 2006
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Howard Lederer Nicknamed "The Professor" 2 WSOP bracelets 2 WPT titles 2003 WPT "Player of the Year"
Howard Lederer plays online exclusively at Full Tilt Poker
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Jennifer Harman 2 WSOP Bracelets Co-Author of Super System 2 Male or female, one of the world's best poker players
Jennifer Harman plays online exclusively at Full Tilt Poker
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Phil Gordon 1 WPT Championship Several WSOP final tables Author of 3 poker books
Phil Gordon plays online exclusively at Full Tilt Poker
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Erick Lindgren Nicknamed "EDOG" 2 WPT Championships 2004 WPT Player of the Year Winner of Poker Million III Winner of "FullTiltPoker.net Pro Showdown at Red Rock Casino"
Erick Lindgren plays online exclusively at Full Tilt Poker
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Clonie Gowen 2003 WPT Ladies Night winner Former Miss Teen Oklahoma
Clonie Gowen plays online exclusively at Full Tilt Poker
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